


Gone

by Ludusrae



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cuddling, Domestic af, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, He accepts it, Hurt/Comfort, I love you's, I wrote this in an hour, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Oliver needs a hug, One Shot, Romance, Sleep, Sleepy Gays, Spooning, Swearing, The Author Regrets Nothing, alex is kind of a huge baby, alexander needs a Hug, because of course, but oliver loves it, gays, i love them, it's fucking four in the morning, mayhaps?, oliver is soft, sleepy, slight hair pulling kink?, soft, sunrise, this is just 1k of pure fluff, this is really... so soft, this might be the softest shit i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23227348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludusrae/pseuds/Ludusrae
Summary: A little fic about the first way Oliver and Alex said: "I love you."It's super soft and... ahhh. I have a whole actual story for them, I swear, I just like writing little short stories for them.
Relationships: oliver mason/alexander holmes, oliver/alexander, ollie/alex
Kudos: 3





	Gone

“I love you” wasn’t a phrase either of them took lightly. It was something grounding that meant more than words could tell. It was more than just important. 

So when they first said “I love you” as a couple… let just say it was earth-shattering. 

It was early. Like, ass-crack-of-dawn early. And Oliver was tired because maybe he stayed up until four-thirty watching Law and Order. It was a good show. Sue him. The sun was just barely peeking in through the curtains and Oliver really didn’t understand why he was awake. 

That was until a certain someone shifted next to him. 

Alex was turned away from him, pushing his head to the wall and curling into himself. Oliver would have missed the shivering had it not been for the absolute stillness of the room. You could’ve heard a goddamn pin drop. 

Oliver wanted to say something, make sure Alex was okay because usually the man was basically glued to Oliver every night, but there was something keeping him quiet. Careful to not break the silence of the room. He did, however, wiggle his arms around his middle and press himself to his back. Oliver could hear him sigh as he entangled their hands together. He kissed the back of his neck and smiled. 

It was night’s like then that made Oliver reminisce. Think about memories that could make him laugh and cry and smile and choke all at the same time. It was a good feeling, really. It made him well up with tears at just the bare thought.

It made him think. It made him think about the times when he was happiest, like when Alex and he had gotten together. Their confessions were sloppy at best, nothing like in the movies and certainly not planned. It was actually kind of horrifying if you thought about it. 

They’d been fighting, screaming at each other. Alex had a problem with Oliver’s isolation, taking it was something personal. Oliver had a problem with Alex’s inability to take criticism. It was a morbid experience for everyone involved. Oliver remembered screaming at Alex about how he, “wouldn’t understand. You’re too fucking… fucking you!” It came out like an insult. Like being him was a bad thing. He could never get the hurt look on Alex’s face and the way he’d drawn back like Oliver had struck him with actual fire out of his head.

He remembered trying to reach out again only to be swatted away as Alex stepped back, whispering a, “you’re right.” Alex had been recoiling into himself. He was never the type to fight back all that hard. When it came to fight or flight he was usually the type to just sit there and take it. It broke Oliver’s heart sometimes. Alex had smiled at him with a broken chuckle and the beginnings of a waterfall in his eyes. He took it in stride.   
Oliver apologised profusely after that, whispering into his ear and tugging him close. As close as possible. Somewhere in the middle of his ramblings, he’d let it slip about his crush and the world froze. And while the world was stuck in time, Alex had broken through the barrier and kissed him.   
And the rest was history. 

Alex shuttered and it was just enough to bring Oliver back from whatever neverland he’d been residing in. This time, he’d found his voice. 

“Alex…?” he whispered. Alex hummed with the same tone as a kicked puppy. “Are you-” 

“Don’t ask if I’m okay… please.” 

“Turn around,” Oliver muttered. Alex shooked his head. “Please?” Oliver knew there wasn’t anything Alex wouldn’t do for him when he begged. God were they both gone. And so he did turn, burying his face into Oliver’s chest before he could even get a proper look. “Are you crying?” 

“...No.” 

He was a shitty liar at best. 

So, the only thing Oliver could really do was rub his back and be there. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, he was acting too reserved for that. 

“Are you crying?” Alex switched, pushing even deeper into his boyfriend’s chest. 

“Maybe.” 

“Why?” 

Oliver blew a raspberry into his ear and said, “just thinking. All good things, I promise.” 

A pause and then, “then why the hell are you crying?” And it was so indignant that Oliver couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

“Because I just love you so much.” And it was a few seconds before he’d truly processed what he’d said. He didn’t regret it. And the little squeak that came from the mound of pure cuteness was something he would pay to get recorded and put on a loop. 

“You what?” 

“I love you.” 

“Oh, my-- Oliver! You can’t just--” and then he was leaning up, hovering over Oliver looking all adorable with his messy hair but hot as hell with his shoulders bare. Oliver didn’t know whether he wanted to kiss him or pull his hair and whisper in his ear. “I wanted to say it first!” Alex’s face was flushed completely red, from his neck to his ears and Oliver had decided that he wanted to do both. He had some level of restraint though and managed to only kiss him. 

They parted and Oliver, the little snarky bastard he is, said, “welp, too bad. I won.” 

“It was a competition?!” 

“Not really.” 

“Then why-” 

Oliver rolled them over, so he was laying on top of Alex instead. Within seconds he was pressing soft kisses to the side of Alex’s neck, all innocent. 

“Now will you tell me why you were crying?” Topic switching was as easy as breathing to Oliver and he was a little too proud of that ability, and all it took was a few kisses to Alex’s neck and fingers carding through his hair and the poor boy was gone. 

“Uh… nightmare,” he drawled and boy did he sound absolutely whipped. 

“Mhmm?” 

“Y’know it’s kind of hard to explain when… when you’re distracting me.” 

“Oh, right.” Oliver detached himself, pulling away just enough to place a kiss to Alex’s cheek instead. “You were saying…” 

“Uh… yeah, it was just a nightmare. I… I don’t really remember it, it was just… spooky.” Jokes and silly commentary were always Alex’s defense to serious situations.   
He claimed it was because sometimes things just got too uncomfortably tense. “It wasn’t really that bad.” 

“Sure, because you just cried for no reason,” Oliver pointed giving a look that just screamed bullshit. 

And this is what he said as he looked to the side, “yeah, we both know I’m just a cry baby.” Oliver wanted to scream, his frustration suddenly almost at the brim. Alex’s self-perception had a way of getting under his skin. 

“No, you aren’t. It’s not your fault, there is nothing wrong with feeling, honey,” Oliver whispered. “Nothing. You are perfect and I love that you care so much, I love that you have deeper feelings about things. It makes you amazing.” 

Oliver could tell Alex was at a loss for words, he kept opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to find the right words. Just another thing to love about him; his consideration for the right words to say. 

All that came out was, “really?” A stupid question in Oliver’s book. Had he not been convincing enough? 

“Yes,” he stressed, because apparently it wasn’t enough the first time. It earned him a kiss and a gorgeous smile that could rival even that of the goddamned sun. 

“I love you.” 

And now that Alex had said it, too, Oliver understood how heart-melting it was. Every part of him was happy and the grin spreading on his face was impossible to conceal, not that he’d want to. 

“Love you, too.”


End file.
